We’ve all heard that dating coworkers is a bad idea. Nonetheless, while spending most of our time at work, coworkers often become friends and opposite sexes may even become romantically involved. According to a recent survey conducted by Careerbuilder.com, 37% of workers said that they had dated a co-worker at some time in their careers. 32%t of those people said they had gone on to marry that person.
Unfortunately, not every office romance works out. Most of us prefer not to be around an ex after a romantic breakup and the last thing we want is to have to interact with them on a daily basis. Sadly, this is something that may be unavoidable in an office environment. Working with your ex may be very painful, and when a relationship turns sour, the office can become a battlefield of anxiety and distraction.
It takes a lot of maturity and common sense to successfully share an office with your ex. It is not easy but it can be done. Despite of how hurt you may feel, you have to use your best judgment and keep your emotions away from work. Whatever is going on in your personal life has no place in your professional life. The following advice may help you not to make a mess out of an unpleasant situation:
1. Be professional. Don’t let your personal life ruin your professional career! Control your emotions and try to focus on doing your job the best you can. Remember that a one-minute burst out of emotions can cost you years of hard work it took to build your career.
2. Avoid talking about your ex or your breakup with your colleagues. If asked, remain calm and neutral and maintain a positive mood. Come up with a humorous and a polite way to respond and to change the subject, indicating that you are not interested in engaging in any discussions concerning this matter.
3. Don’t ever badmouth your ex. No one at work needs to know the details of your break up or what you think of your ex. It will only add to hostility between you two and will ignite additional rumors. Also, keep in mind that everything you say about your ex also reflects on you personally. After all, you’ve dated that person.
4. Don’t post personal information or information about your breakup on any social websites. Many of your colleagues may be on the same sites and rumors will spread faster than fire. Don’t ever use company e-mail or company computer to exchange messages with your ex unless you want to take a risk of them becoming a common knowledge.
5. If you are being harassed by your ex, talk to them and ask them to “keep it professional”. Explain that it is in both of your interests if you want to keep your jobs. If that doesn’t help, consider talking to your superiors and asking for their help. Do this only as a last resort and make sure you are not exaggerating when it comes to the issues with your ex (again, don’t let emotions cloud your judgment!)
6. If all fails, consider requesting a transfer or reassignment to another office or department (if working for a large company) or even taking another job, if at all possible.
Do you have any other advice? Have you ever been in this situation? Please share your experience in the comments below!
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